“If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.”
~Not Marilyn Monroe, ever.

I’ve always had a problem with that “quote”.

For starters, what is your best, and why aren’t you trying to be that way all the time? Too much effort? If you’re that fucking spectacular at your best, are you saying that justifies you being at your worst?

What if you’re a serial killer? What if animals hide their genitals from you? How do you justify those? Philanthropy?

Try saying this instead, idiots:

“I can be as awesome as an angel’s threeway, or I can suck worse than bamboo splinters being shoved into your naughty bits, and I’d prefer if you worked at helping be me not be such a shit human being.”

~Marilyn Monroe, recently attributed.

I feel that’s more fair.