Aw, Fusion.com – a website with even less credibility than The Blumpkin. Although we strive to cover the factual happenings of Social Justice Warriors and their temper tantrums, we do not profess to be accurate nor do we claim to have any journalistic integrity. For starters, we aren’t journalists. We’re a bunch of assholes celebrating American ideals and trashing those that do not.

[Note: Scroll down to skip my rant and see her racist Tweets]

The United States of America isn’t made up of one color and it isn’t comprised of one faith. Every American is entitled to their personal freedoms as long as their freedoms aren’t predicated on the infringement of others. Live and let live. If my behavior offends you but doesn’t affect you in any other way, tough shit. Eat a bag of dicks and have a nice day.

That is why I personally chose the name The Blumpkin. It’s crude but it’s meant to weed out the crybabies that can’t handle the world outside of their safe space. The point is that I chose this name to convey the purpose of what we’re trying to accomplish here. It’s all in the name.

At FUSION, we champion a young, diverse, and inclusive America from the inside out. We approach news and entertainment through a lens that celebrates all voices in today’s world.

Did Fusion stumble upon their name by happenstance or did they – in the spirit of diversity and inclusion – choose the word that by definition describes “the process or result of joining two or more things together to form a single entity.”

Unless you’re an idiot, their intent is pretty clear. So how does Fusion go about accomplishing this optimistic endeavor of theirs?

Nameplate necklaces: This shit is for us

By Collier Meyerson

“I was in fourth grade and Mabel was in fifth. Every day in our joint classroom, I stared at her longingly. She had a small waist, big boobs, a wash and set that always lasted through the week, and baby tees that clung to her body that way. Her sense of style was insanely enviable. But it was what hung from her neck—a giant, hollow, diamond-studded plate—that really made Mabel an elementary-school fashion icon.

Mabel wasn’t the only girl I knew who rocked a nameplate necklace—she was just the coolest. All the Puerto Rican, Dominican and black girls wore them, and each had their own special take. Mahogany, whose grandma Ms. Helen lived across the street from my family in a single-room occupancy building, had one with bubbly script but no diamonds. Another girl from around my way had a heart decal in her nameplate, and nearly all the girls had a thick squiggly line underneath—a clever decoration to emphasize the importance of what sat above.

Nameplates have always leapt off the chests of black and brown girls who wear them; they’re an unequivocal and proud proclamation of our individuality, as well as a salute to those who gave us our names. The necklaces are a response to gas-station bracelets and department-store mugs emblazoned with names like Katie and Becky. But most of all, they’re a flashy and pointed rejection of the banality of white affluence.” Read More (If you want to kill brain cells)

Blaming an entire race for something probably isn’t the best way to bring racial harmony to this country. And given my propensity for blowjobs on the toilet (giving or receiving?), I know when something doesn’t smell right. That’s why I decided to look into the author of this wonderful article just a little bit more.

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This lovely piece of resting bitch face (yeah, I went there toots) goes by the name of Collier Meyerson. Before I breakdown the piece of work that Meyerson is, I’d like to point out a couple of contradictions in her article.

In her initial description of the nameplate necklaces, she claims:

“The necklaces are a response to gas-station bracelets and department-store mugs emblazoned with names like Katie and Becky.”

Which is all in the context of girls with ‘non-white’ names being excluded. That makes sense until further down she displays her ignorance on the subject of supply and demand.

“Today, in some areas of the United States, “nearly a third of African-American girls are given a name belonging to no one else in the state”

Listen, sugar tits, I get it. My parents saddled me with an unusual name and no matter how many times I spent looking for a souvenir keychain or overpriced “I Love Florida” magnet as a kid, I never found one. It wasn’t because I was being excluded because of my race, it was because there’s maybe 5 people in the entire United States with the same name as me. Would a smart company make an effort to sell merchandise with common African-American names? Absolutely! But stop projecting because the name “Collier” (which is English, by the way) peaked in popularity in the year 1898.

Onto the next one.

“Nameplates have always leapt off the chests of black and brown girls who wear them; they’re an unequivocal and proud proclamation of our individuality.”

Our individuality, eh?

“White girls and women have other stories, but they don’t have ours. It never feels like a homage to me when I see a white woman rocking a nameplate. Instead, it comes across as nothing more than an awkward replica—true “biters” of our shit.”

Our shit? How tolerant of you. Furthermore, doesn’t the word “our” refer to a group rather than an individual? She can’t even pin down the exact cultural origins of the nameplate necklace and in a poor effort to do so, associates them with all non-white girls of a lower socioeconomic status instead. Her article is completely reliant on her own personal experiences.

“The nameplate necklace was always a cultural touchstone of black and brown urban fashion—that is, until Sex and the City, something Rosa-Salas and Flower also noticed. I first began to encounter white girls wearing nameplates in the early 2000s, after the HBO show exploded in popularity.”

Unfortunately for Collier, I grew up in a racially diverse community in the 1990s and remember little girls of all backgrounds rocking those damn necklaces. Unlike the ethnic boundaries of New York City where she grew up, I grew up in an area that was almost evenly split along racial lines. Maybe Collier is right on the money but talk about a nonsensical reproach nonetheless.

Why did she do it? Simple: she hates white people.

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I guess I’m one of those “corny yts” and Collier, we see you too.

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In addition to her ‘fine’ work at Fusion, she’s also a contributor to MSNBC. Color me surprised! Just don’t color me in black face paint. She works with another one of The Blumpkin’s favorite people, Chris Hayes.

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I thought Skankhunt42 already warned this guy to calm his tits. It’s looking more and more like Mr. Hayes wants a dick in his mouth.

I’m going to look past the obvious “What if so and so said blackies?” and “What if somebody said black boy wasted?” questions a rational person would ask in response to her social media outbursts. Maybe, just maybe, I’m reading too much into these Tweets.

You’re not really helping your cause, Collier. But, you’ve only insulted white people and men so far. In the eyes of the mainstream media, you’re doing the Lord’s work, so you should be fine –

Oh no, not the Jews. Wait, this happened back in August? And she still has a job? Damn, that race card is bulletproof! I enjoy her feigned outrage over some guy asking to move his seat to get away from her. Is it possible that your hatred for other people hangs in the air like the stench of a dirty diaper? Maybe he didn’t appreciate the fact that a stranger he was about to be stuck next to for the next several hours decided to put a camera in his face. Furthermore, I can only assume that anybody demanding to be moved to First Class is a complete and utter douche bag.

The Blumpkin would like to dedicate this gallery of white people appropriating other cultures to the one and only Collier Meyerson:

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